


Dark and Wild

by Silvaimagery



Category: BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan), K-pop, RPF - Fandom
Genre: AU, Anger, Angst, Brotherhood, Comfort, Depression, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Taegi (VSuga), character backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:37:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7973767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Min Yoongi had been dead long before he had joined Bangtan and he thought nothing could ever bring him back to life.  And then he met Kim Taehyung.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from their album. 
> 
> Some reference to the lyrics from Yoongi’s mixtape song ‘The Last’

Min Yoongi died at the age of thirteen, the same day his hero and mentor was killed by a drunk driver.

My brother had been everything, he’d been my life and my inspiration. He was the kind of man I aspired to be and I did my best in school to make him proud.

He was a good man and I had a /vision of the two of us, all grown up, standing around the grill laughing and reminiscing while our children played in the yard and our wives cooked in the kitchen.

But those things were not to be and my life turned into a black hole that ate my dreams and my soul.

I tried to fight it at first and then I just gave up.

What was the point of living life when the person you held so dear was not there to share in your happiness and your success?

Giving up was easy and like a coward, I let the darkness take over me.

A mist came over my mind and life. I didn’t care about anything or anyone and I would rather sleep my days away than wake up to reality.

My friends and the professors at school stopped trying to get through to me. My grades were a joke and I failed too many classes. The principle threatened to kick me out and that’s when my parents took me to a psychiatrist.

Her words had no meaning, it was just noise and I refused to speak of things that no longer had any meaning.

Things got bad once my parents started joining in on the sessions. 

It was a real guilt trip.

The doctor assured me that speaking about my feelings would make me feel better. 

It didn’t. Talking about it just brought up things that should have remained buried in my mind.

I fell right back into the depression that had consumed me when my brother had died. The pain was unbearable and I lashed out. Rage filled my heart. I was angry at the psychiatrist, my parents, the world, life. And I was so angry at my brother.

I spent most of my nights out on the streets, trying to find an outlet for the black tar that threatened to drown me.

I force my way into a seedy looking club and the loud cheers and the powerful words draw me closer.

I watch the man on stage lay himself out for all to see, his voice becoming louder as he screams out his doubts and his fears.

The beat is hard and dark, just like the lyrics.

The vibe from the crown and the emotion from the rapper makes me feel something other than anger for the first time in months.

I find myself moving to the beat and yelling with the crown.

It was like ecstasy and I came back, night after night, looking for more.

When I was there, my thoughts had perspective and I had an antidote for the poison that filled my heart.

For a year I watched before I sat down to put my feelings on paper. A year after that, I stepped on stage for the first time and I shared my poison with the crowd.

It was exhilarating and that night was the first night I slept for more than three hours.

The next night I walk into a tattoo parlor and I pay the artists all the money I had to get him to work on me.

“What do you want?” He asks.

“I want you to tattoo this across my shoulders.” I say handing him the paper.

He looks down at it before looking at me.

“Alright.”

I walk out with the black letters staining my skin, a reminder of the new life I now led.

Min Yoongi was dead and it was time for the new me to live.

I make my way to the club and I prepare to perform.

“You still haven’t given us your name. We need one to introduce you.” The MC says.

“Agust D.” I say after a moment.

“You have five minutes.” He says before leaving.

I steel myself before leaving the room and heading towards the stage.

“Coming on stage, please welcome Agust D!”

The cheers of the crowd drowns out my threatening insecurities and I take the microphone.

When I get home, I take off my shirt and I look at the words written across my back.

‘I don’t give a shit. I don’t give a fuck.’

**************************

“Idols are nothing but pets following their master’s leash. They have no say and they are kept down by greedy fuckers whose only interest is making money. I am not a show pony.” I say standing.

“You have talent and we can use a guy like you. Which is the only reason I am overlooking the disrespect.” President Bang says.

I snort.

“Kim Namjoon recommended you. He’s a friend of yours right?”

“We know each other.” I admit.

“He really wants you to be a part of this.”

I sigh.

“Think about it. If not for the money then for your music.”

I battled with myself for three days before going back and signing the contract.

All I wanted was for my voice to be heard but with all things, I got more than I expected.

It was hard to tone down the monster inside of me but I tried.

Some days were harder than others and I spend a lot of time by myself in order to keep my demons under control.

Of course, that all changed once we actually became a group and we began preparing for our debut.

*****************************

Kim Taehyung is a contradiction and it is why he captures my attention.

He is smart and stupid, serious and foolish, mature and childish, sweet with killer instincts. He is annoying and charming, dangerous and very handsome, funny and embarrassing. It is hard to resist him, to not get caught in his gravitational pull.

I ignore him the majority of the time but I don’t think he cares since he is too caught up worshiping the ground Jin walks on and playing around with Jimin and Jungkook.

I arrive home at eight in the morning and the members are still sleeping, except for Jimin who is an early riser.

“Good morning, hyung.” He says.

I nod before going to the room and grabbing clothes and heading to the shower.

I take a hot bath and I enjoy it for a few long minutes before getting out.

I didn’t want the other members banging on the door demanding that I get out.

I dry off my body first before putting the towel to my head.

Fingers touch my back suddenly and I jump.

I whirl around, covering my lower body.

Taehyung looks at me.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I have to pee.” He says brushing past me.

“You could have knocked.”

“Nice tattoo. When did you get it?”

“I am not talking to you while you hold your dick in your hand.”

“At least this way we are both shooting the breeze.” He chuckles.

My lips twitch and I force it down.

“Shut up.”

I dress in a hurry.

“Does it still hurt?”

“No.”

He washes his hands before turning to look at me.

“I wasn’t talking about the tattoo. I’m talking about your brother.”

I frown at him.

“What did you just say?”

“How old were you when he died?”

Cold sweat breaks out over my body and I fist my hands on his t-shirt and I shake him.

“What the fuck do you know? Who told you?”

He puts his hands over my fists.

“We grew up in the same town, we are bound to know some of the same people.”

“Who?!”

“I guess it still does hurt.”

“Shut up.”

“My best friend died before I left home to come here. Street fight. He was like a brother to me. But now I have you guys and it makes me feel better to know I’m not alone anymore.”

“Get the fuck out.”

I shove him towards the door.

“I’m here, if you ever want to talk.” He says.

“Why would I want to talk to you?”

“Because we’re a family now and we can only rely on each other. Think about it.”

He leave the bathroom and I press my shaky hands to the counter top.

Just hearing Taehyung talk about my past like that got me all riled up.

I take a moment to control myself before leaving the bathroom.

***************************

I slam my fist against the wall and the pain brings me back to reality.

“You’re going to break your hand at this rate. Then how are you going to write songs?”

I take a deep breath.

“Maybe you should try talking.”

“There is nothing to talk about.” I say turning to look at Taehyung.

“Well, I do have things I want to talk about.” He slumps down on the couch. “I hate the manager assistant. He’s always bitching at me. Even when I try my best, he won’t shut the fuck up. I just want to punch him in the face but I know it will only get me kicked out.” He sighs.

“I am not a fucking psychiatrist. Why don’t you go talk to Jimin?”

“Jimin has his own shit to deal with. I don’t want him to worry about me.”

“But it’s okay for you to put this on me?”

“You don’t give a shit, remember?” He smiles. “Talking about it out loud makes me feel better. But I will look crazy if I talk to myself.”

“You are crazy.”

He chuckles.

“Maybe just a little.” He sighs. “How do you get rid of the excess negative thoughts? Does it ever bother you?”

“What other people say or think about me?”

“Yeah.”

I want to tell him that there are times when I have locked myself in the bathroom and cried. That no matter how many walls I built, their words sometimes still had a way of finding their way into my head.

“Not really.” I lie.

“I don’t know how you do it. I can’t just pretend not to hear them talking about me.”

“You just have to block it. Someone is always going to have a problem with you and you can’t live your life trying to please them all. As long as you are happy with who you are and what you’ve done, fuck everyone else.”

“Hmm. I don’t give a shit. I don’t give a fuck.”

“Exactly.”

He smiles at me.

“Thanks, hyung.”

Strangely, hearing Taehyung talk about his problems actually made me feel better. 

After that first day, it was an unspoken routine that we had. Whenever he needed a listening ear or when I got too worked up, he would talk at me and we’d both feel comfort in each other’s presence.


	2. Chapter 2

Right after our debut, a lot of underground rappers started coming for us.

Sometimes it was hard to ignore their bashing but I swallowed it down because it wasn’t just about me anymore.

I had to think about the other guys too.

It is one thing when people you don’t know say things about you but it is another when the people around you start talking shit.

“What? You think you can do whatever the hell you want now? Huh?” The assistant manager says pushing at Taehyung’s chest with his finger.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything.

“Answer me when I talk to you!”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Just do what you are supposed to do.”

“I am doing what I’m supposed to do.”

“Acting like an idiot is what you’re supposed to do?”

“Fans like it when we have fun.”

“Fans?” He chuckles. “You have fans? Why would anyone like you? You’re just a stupid kid.”

“Aren’t you being a bit too harsh?” Hoseok asks.

“You starting with me too now?”

“Maybe you should just lay off him a bit. He will try harder, alright?” Namjoon says.

“I don’t need you to speak for me. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.” Taehyung tells him.

“Don’t think it’s too late for us to kick your ass back to the alley you came from. You still remember what being poor feels like, right?”

Taehyung starts shouting at the assistant, cursing him out and for a moment I see myself in him.  
His eyes are dark with anger and his mouth is curled into a snarl. 

He starts shoving the assistant manager and Namjoon grabs him back.

The assistant shouts back at Taehyung, putting him down and cutting him deep with his words.

Taehyung’s eyes fill with tears and he lowers his head in defeat.

I clench my fists and I push the assistant manager away from him. 

“Don’t get involved in this. It doesn’t concern you.” He tells me.

“Get out. We’re done with you.” I tell him.

“You think you have a say in what happens to the group? We made you what you are and you do what we tell you.”

I chuckle.

“You didn’t do anything. You’re just a lapdog.”

He raises his hand and I step up closer to him.

“You think I’m scared of you? Someone like you doesn’t deserve respect, you are the worst kind of people there are. You kiss our asses in front of President Bang but talking shit behind his back. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror because we might be ‘idols’ but at least we stand for something.”

“Don’t get so high and mighty, boy. You’re just a sellout.” He says.

“Well, it’s thanks to this sell out that you are even able to feed your family.”

I grab Taehyung’s hand and I lead him out of the room.

He wipes his tears and I lead him to an empty office.

I hold him in my arms as he cries.

“You shouldn’t let that motherfucker’s words get to you. It’s all bullshit anyways.”

He nods.

I rub his back.

“I lied to you.”

He pulls back and looks at me.

“What?”

I wipe his wet cheeks.

“When I told you that what others said about me didn’t affect me. It’s hard to ignore them when they voice your insecurities.”

“But you never even showed it.”

“I’m just very good at pretending.”

“I want to be like you.” He says fiercely.

It hurts me to hear him say that.

“No, you don’t. I’m a monster, Taehyung. There is nothing but darkness in my heart. I’m weak and I live every day fighting the depression that threatens to drag me back down.”

“It’s not true.”

“I have not once fully been my true self. I’m not even sure of who my true self even is anymore. I hate Min Yoongi more than I hate anyone else.” My heart best fast in my chest at my confession and my eyes sting with tears. “I hate him.” I whisper. “And more than once, I’ve wished he was truly dead.”

“Don’t say that.” He says putting his hands on either side of my neck. “You are not a monster. You are human and it is alright to be afraid, to be scared of the unknown future. To question your decisions. No one expects you to be perfect, Yoongi. The guys and I, we just want you to be happy.”

“What is happiness?”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“What is it to you then?”

“Being with you.”

I shake my head at him.

“You cannot possibly be happy being with me.”

“Talking with you like this, baring myself completely and knowing you will put me back together better than I was before. That is my happiness.”

A sudden smile breaks out across my face and he smiles back.

“You’re suck a fucking liar.”

He laughs.

“Hyung, it’s the truth. I love Min Yoongi, as broken and insecure as he is. I love him and one day you will understand why.” He assures.

“I doubt I ever will.”

“As long as you accept my love, I will take care of the rest.”

***************************

I teach him to rap.

He wanted to learn and he was excited of the prospect of one day standing on stage and rapping with Mon, Hobi, and me. 

“People thinks rapping is easier than singing.”

He nods.

“But in some respects, it is actually harder. You’ve noticed the way Mon starts to lose his voice when he raps too much. When you rap, you have to find the right pitch and you stick with it for the entirety of the time. You do not go lower or higher, otherwise it won’t sound right.”

“Okay.”

“Learning to breathe through it is also key or you will start gasping for breath and you’ll end up losing the beat. Then you’ll just fuck up the whole song.”

“How do I learn to breathe through it?”

“You have to find your rhythm. It takes practice.”

“You sure I can do this?”

“With me as your teacher, you can’t go wrong.”

He chuckles.

“I trust you.”

“Good. Now, do you have a favorite rap song?”

“Cypher Part 3.” He says quickly and I smile.

“How did I know you were going to say that?”

“I think it’s one of the best songs we’ve done.”

“The beat is too fast for a beginner.”

“I can’t do the whole song but I can pick a part.”

“Alright. Which part do you want to learn?”

He grabs my hand.

“Yours.”

“Practice it, find your own rapping voice and remember to control your breathing.”

“I won’t let you down.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

“What?”

“You letting me down.”

“Because you have no expectation?”

I cup his face.

“Because I know what you are capable of.”

He smiles brightly and I kiss him.

“I will do my best for you.” He promises.

“Do your best for yourself, Taehyung. If you are happy with what you have accomplished then who cares what anyone else thinks?”

“I care about what you think.”

“I think you are too good for me.”

“Everyone knows that but I still love you.”

I pinch his thigh and he laughs.

“Do you love me?” He asks.

“You know I do.”

“Sometimes I need to hear you say it.”

“You know I am not good with words.”

He snorts.

“You’re a rapper and a writer. How are you not good with words?”

It was still hard for me to open up to him about some things, like how much I love and need him. But I had to try.

“Taehyung.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I back him up against the desk.

“I’m better at action than words.” I say licking his collarbone.

He groans.

“Do you want me to show you?”

“Yes. Oh please god, yes.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times ahead.

Taehyung crawls over me and I groan.

“Get off of me.”

“I have to show you something.” He whispers.

“If that something is your dick, it can wait.”

He chuckles.

“I’m serious. I have to show you something.”

I blink my eyes open and I turn on my back.

He straddles me.

“What is it?”

He takes off his t-shirt and I can barely make out the stain on his skin.

“What is that?”

I reach out to touch it but he grabs my hand.

“It’s fresh and it hurts like a son of a bitch.”

I reach over and turn on the light.

“What did you do?” I ask.

“I might have been naughty.”

“Might have?”

Just under his pectoral muscle, on his left side, he had gotten my name tattooed.

It makes me feel all warm and fussy inside but I wasn’t about to tell him that.

I look at him.

“You are going to be in so much trouble for this.”

“That’s not what’s important right now. Do you like it?”

“My name is written on your skin. What part of that wouldn’t I like?”

“The fact I have ‘ruined’ my perfect body?”

“One: your body is not perfect.”

He slaps my chest.

“Though I do love your ass.”

“Is that all you like about me?”

“I also like your mouth.” I smirk.

He licks his lips.

“And two: I ruined your body months ago.”

He undulates his hips.

“I had something to drink before I went to the tattoo parlor.”

“And by something do you mean liquor?”

He smiles, his eyes shining brightly in the low light.

“Now I’m sore and horny. Want to help me out?”

“I’ll go get you some pain killers.” I say sitting up.

He pushes me back down before scooting down and pulling down my underwear.

“You mentioned something about my mouth, right?”

I look at his tattoo.

“I think I’d rather treat you tonight.”

I grab his upper arms and I push him down onto the mattress.

I lightly run my finger under the tattoo and he moans.

“Let me give you something to think about every time you see those letters on your skin.”

I pull off his underwear and I spread his thighs.

He fists his hands against the sheets.

I lick my way up his thighs.

He lifts his lips and I ignore his hard on as I move my mouth up to his bellybutton.

“Yoongi.” He groans.

“I don’t think I’ve ever liked my name more than I do right now.”

*************************

I start trying to put my past into words. It is hard and I give up more than once.

It takes me almost two years to find the courage to finish the songs.

It is easy to write and record the songs dissing the fucking haters but not the ones that bare my soul.

Taehyung is always there giving me courage. 

He stands behind me, holding me, as I record the lyrics I had written. 

I know that the only reason I am able to recount my past out loud is because of Taehyung. 

He is still unpredictable and he takes what others think of him too seriously but he is my salvation. 

“I’ve finally figured it out.”

I pause the recording and I look at him.

“What?”

“What makes you who you are.”

“And what makes me who I am?”

“Min Yoongi, Suga, and Agust D. They are all a part of you. Yoongi is a genius and he cares a lot, Suga is sweet and approachable, Agust D is intimidating and rebellious. All combined we get a perfect specimen: you.”

“You make me sound like a mental patient.”

“If you were then I know I’d be right there with you.”

I smile.

“Is that supposed to be charming?”

“It sounded better in my head.”

“A lot of things sound better in your head.”

He slaps my arm.

I turn in my chair and I face him. I grab his hips and I pull him closer.

“How is the tattoo?”

He touches the spot.

“Better. From all the shit Namjoon gave me you’d think I had cussed out a reporter. He should be glad I got it in a place where no one can see it.”

“You knew it was going to happen.”

“Yeah but I’m an adult now and if I want to get my boyfriend’s name tattooed on my body then I can.”

“Well if it makes you happy, your boyfriend really enjoys your tattoo.”

“Of course he does. I’ve marked myself as his.”

“Would it make you feel better if I got your name tattooed on my body?”

“Really?” He asks, excited by the prospect.

“No. I was just wondering.”

“You’re such an ass.”

I put my hands under his t-shirt.

“Stop. You’re supposed to finish putting together your mixtape.” He says grabbing my wrists.

“I know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“So?”

“So there is something more important to do.”

“And what is that?”

“For starters, I am going to lick and bite every inch of your body before making you come in my mouth. Then I am going to watch you ride me.”

“In that order?”

“I’m sure we can improvise.”

I drop to my knees and I unzip his jeans.

He leans back against the desk.

“I used to think that I would have to beg you for sex.” He says trying to act nonchalant by our positions.

“You can still beg if you want.”

I pull off his underwear and jeans before lifting his left knee over my shoulder.

His fingers rake through my hair and I bite his inner thigh, right next to the fading bruise I had left a few days ago.

He groans.

“Hey.” I say looking up at him.

He opens his eyes and he looks down at me.

“This might be obvious given our positions but I just want you to know that I love you.”

He chuckles.

“I love you too.”

“Good. I’m going to suck your dick now.”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

I smile before licking my lips and taking him in my mouth.

Management might have some problem with me missing my deadline but if they knew just how much Taehyung meant to me, I am sure they would understand why he was my top priority.

And having sex regularly wasn’t such a bad deal either.

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
